dirt

Just a little more self respect...
How many times have you cleansed me, God, only to saturate myself in dirt once more.

Why is there no limit to your forgiveness?
I am so unworthy.

I am dirt.
Is that why I long to cover myself in it?
I actually belong there.

Jesus.. I do not even deserve to say your name.

If I say your name it would be like picking up a clean white sheet with dripping wet muddy hands.

God.
Protect others from my lack of respect.
Protect myself from myself.

I am the one person I want to escape from,
and I can't.

Let me alone rather than near a muddy pool..
even though it is more than what I deserve.

PLEASE CONTROL ME.